I am been doing teleclasses for parents and educators on how to keep children safe from predators. I am doing a live talk in NYC on 12/8 at the Museum of Motherhood. Please let your contacts know. They can register for the free event below.

Thanks in advance.

Jill Starishevsky
Prosecutor, Child Abuse/Sex Crimes
Author, My Body Belongs to Me

http://www.MyBodyBelongstoMe.com

646-262-7418

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/video/talking-kids-sexual-abuse-10255396 http://keepingchildrensafe-efbevent.eventbrite.com/

Screamers

To live with a screamer is an experience unto itself.  At times, I wonder who this creature is screaming in my house, such a far cry from her kind, loving way of being.  To listen can be the most difficult thing to bear which warrants removal of me or her from the room.  I give myself timeouts so that I can sit in quiet for a moment and gather my thoughts before making my next strategic move to calm the little monster down (I say that in a loving way).  Her recent reason for screaming was she was quite tired which facilitated an ordered bath; it did the trick for her.  Sometimes, a conversation works, but one thing remains the same.  I do not allow the drama to continue, otherwise she is reinforced and it just gets worse.   So all I can say is if you have a screamer, you are not alone.  And for those who don’t, count your blessings. 

For those children who have been screamers since birth and recently are at a peak, I feel your pain.    No they do not scream all of the time, but even a couple times a week makes life a little more difficult.  When they were younger, it would help to say, “Use Your Words,” and now, they  Scream their words… It has been a habit that is hard to change and walks along side the whining. 

I recently purchased a sign for my house that says “No Whining Allowed ……  Ever”.  I was hoping it would assist me in laying down the law.  This was my experiment to see if I could tone down the whining and screaming.   So far, I have received several responses on the chalk board next to it, saying, Boo Hoo, No Way, Not Fair, but I continue to point to the sign when I hear the Whining, which often can turn into screaming when I say No!  It is too soon to see if there is a difference yet. 

There are so many reasons behind screaming, guilt, fatigue, boredom, and often for no good reason, but then sometimes, they scream because they need to sort something important out and do not understand how to communicate it.  This is what makes it hard for us parents to discriminate.  I believe the answer is in discussing with your child after he/she has calmed down.  Very often they are very straight forward and will say to you, “I don’t want to go to school because…”  Please take them at their word and support them in facing the issue and finding a healthy solution.  Obviously, there is something there that he/she is struggling with that you can support he/she on.   Oh Yeah, and for those of you who hear the screaming coming from my house, you should know I hear your children screaming too!

“What’s Up Down There?” No for real! So much does go on down there and things are constantly changing due to our hormonal cycles. It is confusing as it is, but then throw in pregnancy, and then… post pregnancy… and before you know it, menopause. Yes our schooling and sometimes our parents told us how the machinery works earlier in life but they did not explain the nuances in the body, the natural rhythms that create our own original experience and the fact that we all have similar issues. This becomes clear although we all have our own unique privates parts with their own needs.
Then there is the “orgasm.” I learned that a large percentage of women don’t have one! What about you ?
Well, I am here to let you know that whatever you experience, you are not alone, and Lissa Rankin is there to let you in on the secret in her book, What’s Up Down there? I love how she gets into sexuality, and orgasms, and even sex in your 80’s in this book. I laughed out loud so many times reading about her experiences with her patients.
But more importantly this book shared information that I was unwilling to discuss with friends (and I can say a lot!), information that helps you to understand your body better, information that lets you know you know you are normal.
The message she conveys is get to know your body, love your body and enjoy your sexuality. So if I had to review this book, I would say this is a must read for all women. It is one of the current books of our generation for our sexuality. So go , get to know thyself better! As Lissa would say, “Let’s talk about coochies and boobs.” Read it and let me know if you got anything out of it

Barbara Salvador has been recruiting for 20 years both in child care and corporate career industries, and is a parent of 2 beautiful girls. She truly understands the search for the right nanny is a journey – from the perspective of recruiting to the very personal decision of who will become part of your growing family. Check out her website at www.nannymama.com

Great Blog about where we are going with the babies and small cell devices  ….

I have a very good friend who is a nanny. Almost every time I see her, her iPhone is either scratched or has a broken screen because she lets the children she cares for play with it. It’s really no surprise. As we know from this study…

via Slobber Alert: Turn Your iPhone Into A Baby Toy.

In Midwinter  – What can you do to support your Garden for the Spring ?

Gardeners love nothing more than looking through plant catalogs while curled up in front of the fire. It seems as though spring is ages away, but there are several winter garden tasks that you should attend to now in preparation for the first thaw.
• Gently brush snow away from evergreen shrubs and trees to keep the extra weight from breaking limbs. Broken branches are more susceptible to disease.

• Be sure to use non-salt de-icers on paths and driveways. Traditional rock salt accumulates in the soil and prevents plants from absorbing water. Try calcium magnesium acetate (CMA), which won’t damage plants and is biodegradable. It’s also gentler on pet paws.

• Fill your birdfeeder. Birds are natural predators of beetles, caterpillars and other harmful insects that devour our plants, so establish a habitat in your yard now and control those pests organically.

• Avoid walking on frozen or snow-covered lawns.

• Winter sun and wind can be hard on evergreens and less hardy plants. If foliage appears to be browning in exposed areas, screen plants with burlap or pine boughs. Wait until midspring to prune out injured foliage, though.

Spring is in the Air

 Lastly, start planning.  Order vegetable seeds, make a note of new plants and flowers you’d like, and gather and clean your tools.   You’ll be ready to go when the garden starts to wake up and you’ll have the garden of your dreams.

Some links for seeding tips: 

http://www.almanac.com/content/ordering-garden-seeds

http://eartheasy.com/blog/2011/01/vegetable-garden-seed-ordering-tips/

http://reneesgardenseeds.blogspot.com/

Do you do any prep in your yard for the Spring?  Tell us about it.

Children’s Story for the young ones…

Artie has written over 20 children’s stories, and that is just the tip of the iceberg.  Although he has a passion for film and writing, he also has a different career in Human Resources by day…  it is amazing how far your passion can take you.  This story speaks to children’s eating habits.  We laid it out here Artie’s 9th published story…

The Story

“Alex, your brother ate everything on his plate. Why don’t you be a good boy too and eat your dinner?”

“But I’m not hungry,” said Alex.

“Okay, I guess you won’t be hungry for sweets then,” said Alex’s Mom.

Alex’s Mom walked over to the countertop and brought over the most mouth-watering, tasty looking dessert you ever did see.

“Okay, who wants a piece of chocolate cake?”

Before anyone else at the table could utter a single word, Alex blurted out, “Me, me, me, me, me!”

“Alex, you just said you’re not hungry,” said Alex’s Mom. “How could you possibly want a piece of cake?”

“I just got hungry all of a sudden,” said Alex.

“Good, I bet you’re ready to eat your peas and carrots then.”

“I’m not hungry for them. I’ll just have a piece of cake please,” said Alex.

“Alex, it doesn’t work that way. To get a piece of cake you’ll have to eat your dinner first.”

“But I don’t want too!”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to call it a night,” said Alex’s Dad. “You’re excused from the table, Alex. Brush your teeth and get to bed young man.”

“Yes, sir,” replied Alex.

As Alex stood up from the table, his brother pretended to be flying an airplane. After a bite of chocolate cake made a safe landing in his brother’s mouth, Alex ran out of the room as fast as he could. Being sent to bed without having dessert was tough enough, but being teased by his brother is what really took the cake.

After he brushed his teeth and climbed into bed, Alex found it hard to fall asleep that night. His stomach roared like an angry lion and he felt dizzy.

“I am so hungry,” Alex said aloud.

Alex felt weak. The room was spinning!

As he made his way to the kitchen, Alex could hardly wait to sneak a nice big piece of chocolate cake. He knew that would make him feel better. But when Alex opened the refrigerator door he was shocked to see a crocodile swimming in a jar of pickles. The crocodile looked mean and appeared ready to attack. Alex slammed the refrigerator door and cried out, “Help me! Please help me!”

Alex’s cry for help woke everyone in his family up. His parents and brother rushed to see what was wrong.

“What’s going on Alex?” asked Alex’s Dad. “Why are you up at this time of night?”

Alex hid behind the kitchen table as he pointed to the refrigerator and said, “Daddy, there’s a crocodile in our pickle jar.”

“There’s a what?” asked Alex’s Mom.

“I saw it! It’s in there,” said Alex. “There’s a crocodile in our pickle jar!”

As Alex’s Mom and brother joined him behind the kitchen table, Alex’s Dad opened the refrigerator door. He grabbed the jar of pickles.

“Please get it out of here,” cried Alex.

Alex’s Dad reached into the pickle jar and took a huge bite out of the crocodile.

“Wow,” said Alex’s Dad. “This isn’t sweet. When did we get dill pickles?”

“What’s going on?” asked Alex. “Where’s the crocodile? I saw it move. It showed me its teeth.”

After Alex was reassured everything was okay, his parents reminded him of how important food was for energy. Alex’s empty stomach was why he had felt dizzy and weak; and when you feel that way your eyes can play tricks on you. So you see, there never was a crocodile in the pickle jar that night! The next evening when Alex’s Mom told everyone there was plenty of leftover chocolate cake for dessert, Alex was the only one who didn’t want any. He was too stuffed. Three helpings of broccoli will do that.

The End

What are your favorite stories to read to your toddler(s) ?

To contact Artie, go to his site. If you are interested in writing a story for my site, contact me.

Advantages of Homeschooling

For the last five months, with the help of my partner and support of my ex-husband, we’ve been homeschooling our 8 and 10-year-old children and taking advantage of the many advantages of this approach.  The kids were previously attending a very good private school with a devoted and hard-working staff, so it wasn’t as if we were dissatisfied with their efforts. I do feel, however, that I am able to give them more personalized attention tailored to their specific needs than a teacher who is managing a larger group and working within the constraints of a set curriculum. Being able to focus on the children’s specific needs within each subject and provide the individual coaching they require throughout the process allows them to progress at their own pace. As such, they don’t need to spend their “after-school” hours in tutoring for extra support or doing additional homework to ensure they master the skills. This allows the children more opportunity to pursue their own interests, and we still have enough time most days to prepare and enjoy homemade meals together, an activity that is important to me.  

The Benefits of Managing your own Schedule

I really appreciate the flexibility this approach allows us. We can stay up late one night watching an educational DVD, engrossed in a compelling book, or enjoying a musical or theatre performance and know that we can adjust our schedule the next day to make up for the lost sleep. We can take advantage of opportunities to visit museums and various exhibits when they aren’t crowded and vacation when it is most affordable, convenient, and again, least crowded. And we’re able to take extended trips to places we visit because we can bring our work along and study wherever we are (as we’re currently doing in Florida, where my parents live).

The World is our School

I like being able to expose my children to real-life learning opportunities on a regular basis. When I need to take them along to the bank, for example, we end up talking about budgeting and managing money and how checking and saving accounts work. We inevitably have the most interesting conversations when the children’s interest is piqued by an experience that allows them to see the practical impact of how the world operates. It isn’t that we couldn’t talk about these things when they were in school, but there does seem to be much more time and energy for it now. As we run two businesses from our home, the children get intimate daily exposure to our working lives as well, which has prompted them to initiate projects that have turned into great educational opportunities. For example, when my partner, a professional photographer, was gearing up for holiday sales of his work last year, the children were inspired to set up a “store” for their own artwork. This activity led to numerous discussions about all aspects of the entrepreneurial process and resulted in my son selling one of his drawings to someone who attended one of our business events.

I don’t know how long we’ll continue homeschooling, because we will ultimately do what’s best for the children from year to year, but it’s truly been an education for all of us. 

Feedback

Would you homeschool?

by Tricia Gruswitz

I am a parent, maybe like you, cherishing the moments that my kids are still young and obsessing over making the right decisions for them while I still have some say.    Our plan is for them to become young adults who succeed at everything- math, language, science, arts, social skills, teamwork, emotional handling, self-esteem, discipline, drive, and on and on. How do we help make all that happen? Dare I say… music lessons!

Music and Life

I know from the hundreds of students I’ve watched grow and through my own personal experiences that studying music can dramatically affect the path a person chooses in all parts of life. A child taking music lessons develops self-discipline and drive with a practice regimen and short and long-term goals. Adding private lessons on top of school lessons turns your child’s favorite class into the place where they are the star student, encouraging confidence that spreads into everything they do. Hard work turns into acceptance in state and regional ensembles – an ideal way to spend after-school time. Plus, when my kids reach the age when their friends have a bigger influence than I do, I will be grateful that they are in the company of other music kids, stereotyped to have all the qualities I listed above. College acceptances and scholarships soon follow. A whopping 66% of music majors who apply to medical school are admitted – the highest percentage of any group – surpassing even pre-med and science. Musical kids frequently amaze us.

Most likely, you are the parent of a musical child. You already know all of the invaluable benefits of music. You are raising doctors, writers, scholars, composers, performers, and presidents, and music professionals like myself are grateful to take a meaningful part in this.

Tricia Gruswitz is the strings and piano teacher and owner of the Olive Tree Music Studio in Andover, Morristown, Montclair and Flemington, NJ. She has over ten years of experience in developing musician’s confidence, and challenging them to reach and achieve high goals in music and life. Trish and her network of music educators are happily accepting new students. Contact her at tricia@olivetreemusicstudio.com

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What do you think?

Emerson is getting the word out and folks are catching on.  Check out this article on Marraige and Emerson’s family on CNN.  Check out more discussions from Emerson on our blog.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/05/19/autism.divorce.rates/index.html?iref=allsearch

“Before I fell pregnant I started to think about all of the women that I know who have struggled with conception. I am interested in superstition and how to instill my seemingly innate luckiness into an object that I could distribute to others. I wanted to create a symbol that embodied the essence of fertility. I began to paint this symbol with Japanese ink on Sumi paper. Then I fell pregnant…”

Conception is a 60 ft scroll of japanese rice paper that has been painted in a meditative state with a recurring symbol of fertility. This symbol has been distilled from various cultural/historical symbols of fertility such as the Venus of Willendorf, the circle (of life) and the celtic spiral. The sculptural form is itself a spiral and will be sectioned and distributed as lucky talismans to people who wish to conceive at the conclusion of the show. 
Tara de la Garza
www.taradelagarza.com

Conception is a 60 ft scroll of japanese rice paper that has been painted in a meditative state with a recurring symbol of fertility. This symbol has been distilled from various cultural/historical symbols of fertility such as the Venus of Willendorf, the circle (of life) and the celtic spiral. The sculptural form is itself a spiral and will be sectioned and distributed as lucky talismans to people who wish to conceive at the conclusion of the show. 
Tara de la Garza
www.taradelagarza.com
RIPE: conception and perception
Anonda Bell and Tara de la Garza
Opening reception Oct 23rd 7-10pm
Closing reception Dec 11th 7-10pm
Gallery Aferro
73 Market st, Newark, NJ