The time is now to enjoy, for You to enjoy and move into the life you are meant to live.  Yes, You should read into this. Time and time again, I see women who are ready for babies, and believe it is their responsibility to be married before they bring a child into this world.  They must find a suitable mate, and marry him, and start the baby making process, in that order, and for some it only to ends up in divorce.  But in recent years a new trend has started.  Educated, fully employed women have been having babies, just out of wedlock. Why you say?  Because they are educated and smart women who are not going to get married Now and/or do not feel the obligation to be married.  So this brings us back to our Now.  It is our responsibility to enjoy every moment. Don’t let anything hold you back to your own happiness.  Granted we all need to think about the responsibility it takes to be a parent, the time, the love to share, and the money.  If you are ready to walk into parenthood in a responsible and mature way, you are much further ahead than many of the folks that are married and having children.

There are many ways to go about this.  Artificial insemination,  or a boyfriend, it doesn’t matter.  If you are approaching it in a responsible way and raising a child that will be a productive, informed adult someday, as far as I am concerned, you are much further evolved than most of the young folks today.    I noticed this is a trend, and it may be a much healthier way to have babies then to get married.  Many women get married these days so that they can have babies, and a reason like that is a recipe for divorce.  When children grow up in a culture they have already known since birth, it precipitates a healthy emotional life.   All of our culture in households is different, even in our married families, and so children should grow up just as healthy if bringing a child into this world is approached in a mature manner.   There is definitely a benefit to have 2 parents at home, even if there is no marriage.   We all know that.  Fathers can be involved when they are aware and approve of children coming into this world, even as much as married fathers, and if they don’t live there, it is not a recipe for a bad upbringing, just adjustments in lifestyles.  Role models in that child’s life are just as important as the mother and father figure.    Remember the saying, “It takes a village…”

You don’t have to look far to see what an issue this is.  Pregnancy happens out of wedlock “by mistake” and then all of the sudden there is a wedding in the making.  This behavior is typically associated with the poor, the people who don’t know any better.

I say that the educated  people who have money do have the resources to bring a child into this life without being married.  And for them it could be a better choice for their children then to step into a marriage that will go sour and raise children.  Let’s face it, it is so important to have children for most people, and so they are now realizing that they can overlook the social norms of marriage and still enjoy parenthood.     This can create a more healthy and happy life in my opinion for those parents that would otherwise be unhappy in their marriage.

Would you have a child out of wedlock if you were not married to the spouse of your dreams?

I am been doing teleclasses for parents and educators on how to keep children safe from predators. I am doing a live talk in NYC on 12/8 at the Museum of Motherhood. Please let your contacts know. They can register for the free event below.

Thanks in advance.

Jill Starishevsky
Prosecutor, Child Abuse/Sex Crimes
Author, My Body Belongs to Me

http://www.MyBodyBelongstoMe.com

646-262-7418

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/video/talking-kids-sexual-abuse-10255396 http://keepingchildrensafe-efbevent.eventbrite.com/

Great Blog about where we are going with the babies and small cell devices  ….

I have a very good friend who is a nanny. Almost every time I see her, her iPhone is either scratched or has a broken screen because she lets the children she cares for play with it. It’s really no surprise. As we know from this study…

via Slobber Alert: Turn Your iPhone Into A Baby Toy.

Children’s Story for the young ones…

Artie has written over 20 children’s stories, and that is just the tip of the iceberg.  Although he has a passion for film and writing, he also has a different career in Human Resources by day…  it is amazing how far your passion can take you.  This story speaks to children’s eating habits.  We laid it out here Artie’s 9th published story…

The Story

“Alex, your brother ate everything on his plate. Why don’t you be a good boy too and eat your dinner?”

“But I’m not hungry,” said Alex.

“Okay, I guess you won’t be hungry for sweets then,” said Alex’s Mom.

Alex’s Mom walked over to the countertop and brought over the most mouth-watering, tasty looking dessert you ever did see.

“Okay, who wants a piece of chocolate cake?”

Before anyone else at the table could utter a single word, Alex blurted out, “Me, me, me, me, me!”

“Alex, you just said you’re not hungry,” said Alex’s Mom. “How could you possibly want a piece of cake?”

“I just got hungry all of a sudden,” said Alex.

“Good, I bet you’re ready to eat your peas and carrots then.”

“I’m not hungry for them. I’ll just have a piece of cake please,” said Alex.

“Alex, it doesn’t work that way. To get a piece of cake you’ll have to eat your dinner first.”

“But I don’t want too!”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to call it a night,” said Alex’s Dad. “You’re excused from the table, Alex. Brush your teeth and get to bed young man.”

“Yes, sir,” replied Alex.

As Alex stood up from the table, his brother pretended to be flying an airplane. After a bite of chocolate cake made a safe landing in his brother’s mouth, Alex ran out of the room as fast as he could. Being sent to bed without having dessert was tough enough, but being teased by his brother is what really took the cake.

After he brushed his teeth and climbed into bed, Alex found it hard to fall asleep that night. His stomach roared like an angry lion and he felt dizzy.

“I am so hungry,” Alex said aloud.

Alex felt weak. The room was spinning!

As he made his way to the kitchen, Alex could hardly wait to sneak a nice big piece of chocolate cake. He knew that would make him feel better. But when Alex opened the refrigerator door he was shocked to see a crocodile swimming in a jar of pickles. The crocodile looked mean and appeared ready to attack. Alex slammed the refrigerator door and cried out, “Help me! Please help me!”

Alex’s cry for help woke everyone in his family up. His parents and brother rushed to see what was wrong.

“What’s going on Alex?” asked Alex’s Dad. “Why are you up at this time of night?”

Alex hid behind the kitchen table as he pointed to the refrigerator and said, “Daddy, there’s a crocodile in our pickle jar.”

“There’s a what?” asked Alex’s Mom.

“I saw it! It’s in there,” said Alex. “There’s a crocodile in our pickle jar!”

As Alex’s Mom and brother joined him behind the kitchen table, Alex’s Dad opened the refrigerator door. He grabbed the jar of pickles.

“Please get it out of here,” cried Alex.

Alex’s Dad reached into the pickle jar and took a huge bite out of the crocodile.

“Wow,” said Alex’s Dad. “This isn’t sweet. When did we get dill pickles?”

“What’s going on?” asked Alex. “Where’s the crocodile? I saw it move. It showed me its teeth.”

After Alex was reassured everything was okay, his parents reminded him of how important food was for energy. Alex’s empty stomach was why he had felt dizzy and weak; and when you feel that way your eyes can play tricks on you. So you see, there never was a crocodile in the pickle jar that night! The next evening when Alex’s Mom told everyone there was plenty of leftover chocolate cake for dessert, Alex was the only one who didn’t want any. He was too stuffed. Three helpings of broccoli will do that.

The End

What are your favorite stories to read to your toddler(s) ?

To contact Artie, go to his site. If you are interested in writing a story for my site, contact me.

“Before I fell pregnant I started to think about all of the women that I know who have struggled with conception. I am interested in superstition and how to instill my seemingly innate luckiness into an object that I could distribute to others. I wanted to create a symbol that embodied the essence of fertility. I began to paint this symbol with Japanese ink on Sumi paper. Then I fell pregnant…”

Conception is a 60 ft scroll of japanese rice paper that has been painted in a meditative state with a recurring symbol of fertility. This symbol has been distilled from various cultural/historical symbols of fertility such as the Venus of Willendorf, the circle (of life) and the celtic spiral. The sculptural form is itself a spiral and will be sectioned and distributed as lucky talismans to people who wish to conceive at the conclusion of the show. 
Tara de la Garza
www.taradelagarza.com

Conception is a 60 ft scroll of japanese rice paper that has been painted in a meditative state with a recurring symbol of fertility. This symbol has been distilled from various cultural/historical symbols of fertility such as the Venus of Willendorf, the circle (of life) and the celtic spiral. The sculptural form is itself a spiral and will be sectioned and distributed as lucky talismans to people who wish to conceive at the conclusion of the show. 
Tara de la Garza
www.taradelagarza.com
RIPE: conception and perception
Anonda Bell and Tara de la Garza
Opening reception Oct 23rd 7-10pm
Closing reception Dec 11th 7-10pm
Gallery Aferro
73 Market st, Newark, NJ

This whole Health Care Debate has me in a tizzy.  The question becomes even when we have health care for all, are we looking at the fine print,  and more importantly, what is the real issue here.  Much of this issue is the state of our health in the nation.  Juvenile diabetes is up, Up, UP!!  Why you say,… well just take a walk into one of your weekly birthday celebrations.    It is not enough for the children to run around and have little piece of cake.  But now they must be provided with soda, juice, and goody bags full of sweets.  No parent would ever deny a child more soda if they are thirsty, especially if it would make them look bad to other parents (do you know what is in a can of soda?)… and you know, these kids get thirsty.  I guess water is hardly an option anymore unless the child specifically asks for it.  Even at family celebrations, it is only polite to be serving cake, ice cream, and pastries for dessert.  Dessert is taken to the next level and the snacks on the shelf in the grocery store qualify for the same category as desserts when I grew up.  Parents profess to be aware, but when it comes to this celebration and that celebration we give in… it seems like every day!!  I do not claim to be perfect… far from it.    All I am saying is there is a lot of talk among parents agreeing on this but when it comes to focusing on your own children and family, it is hard to adjust.   That is when the health of our children gets worse, and worse. 

Get Informed -

Google It:

http://www.state.nj.us/health/fhs/shapingnj/partners.shtml

http://www.whale.to/v/sugar_q.html

http://www.facebook.com/SmartHabitsFans#!/SmartHabitsFans?v=wall

Get Cerebral:

http://www.techjackal.net/other/2010/04/22/sugar-is-not-so-sweet-for-your-health/

http://www.nature.com/oby/journal/v10/n6/full/oby200266a.html

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE63J69U20100420

http://www.princeton.edu/pr/news/02/q2/0620-hoebel.htm

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2008/12/12/2008-12-12_sugar_as_addictive_as_cocaine_heroin_stu.html

I have a beautiful four and a half year old boy with autism.  In our case he showed signs since birth, but was not diagnosed until after the age of two, after his initial MMR vaccine.  After so much angst, expense, tears and most of all, effort we were making progress towards healing him. Our son Emerson, “Little Em” was finally starting to say words and look us in the eyes, then came time for his MMR booster shot.  We were sick to our stomachs wondering if this booster would cause regression and thwart all our efforts. The vision of injecting him with something that could hurt him further literally brought tears to my eyes. After much research I found a few things out about the MMR “booster” and what our rights are in the State of New Jersey.

First, the MMR booster is not a booster at all.  The initial vaccine inoculates approximately 94 to 95% of the population receiving it. The booster is later administered across the board to simply increase the percentage up a few points to about 97 to 98%.  So out of 100 children who initially receive the MMR, about 95 already have enough antibodies and do not require the follow up shot.  Secondly, you are allowed to get what’s known as a titer test. This is a blood test to measure the amount of antibodies in the blood stream.  If they are high enough, your child is exonerated from the follow up MMR vaccine.  All day care facilities and schools must accept this and cannot prevent your child from attending if your child passes the required antibody levels on the titer.

Don’t Be Surprised If Doctors Are Resistant.

In our case we waited until we were in the doctor’s office to receive the booster when I notified the nurse who came in with the vaccine that we wanted a script for a titer.  She became quite flustered and insisted that the booster was required.  I calmly requested to meet with the doctor.  He complied without hesitation, but what I find so disturbing is even with the knowledge of my son’s condition, I still had to garner this information elsewhere.  Long story short, my son’s antibodies were high enough and he did not require the booster.  I can’t say that vaccines had any ill effect Little Em, but after all we have been going through we didn’t want to risk anything.

Because of Little Em’s autism we meet so many other parents in the same situation, with the same pit in their stomach when it comes time for booster shots, but to my surprise they don’t know of the titer. Why isn’t this common knowledge?  With all the concern over vaccines how come school authorities and doctors don’t advertize this choice? Sadly I think it’s part economics, and part that the public is used to lining up like lemmings when it comes to doctor’s orders (imagine how much less money the Pharma companies would make if 95% of the population didn’t get their booster shots because they didn’t need it.)

The titer test is available for the following vaccines:

• MMR (measles, mumps, rubella)
• Hepatitis B
• Diphtheria, Tetanus
• H. Influenza (HiB)
• Hepatitis A
• Chicken Pox, (Varicella – zoster)
• Influenza A and B
• Polio
• Pneumococcal vaccines

So if you’re up at night worried about an upcoming vaccine shot for your child, research your state laws and see if a titer test is available.  And spread the word.  With autism now affecting 1 in 100 children, (1 in 66 if it’s a boy) everyone now knows someone who affected by this condition.  Who knows, at the very least you may help save another parent from that awful pit in their stomach.

Staying Healthy during Pregnancy yields Benefits afterwards:   written by Niva Herzig, PT

Staying healthy while you are pregnant is not only beneficial to your baby, but to you too.  This holds true whether it’s your first child or your tenth.  What does staying healthy mean?  A combination of proper diet, exercise and sleep. 

Just because you are pregnant, doesn’t mean you need to double your caloric intake.  In fact, caloric increase only needs to occur during the 2^nd and 3^rd trimesters and by 300 calories.  Take in fluids regularly in order to maintain hydration, especially when pregnant during warmer months and during exercise.  Continue eating meals consisting of all food groups and keep sugars at a minimum.  Include in your diet fruits and vegetables, whole grains and protein.  Remember to eat foods rich in Calcium, Iron, Folic Acid and Vitamin C.  Be aware of foods that may harm your baby such as unpasteurized cheeses or raw fish and meats.   Make sure all meats are cooked and are not eaten raw to avoid exposure to harmful bacteria.  Additionally, minimize the intake of caffeine.  Once your baby is born, remember to continue eating a well balanced diet and increase fluids especially if breast feeding.  For more specific issues and concerns speak with your physician or consult with a nutritionist. 

 Staying active is very beneficial to you and your baby.  If you are not a gym person, don’t worry.  Before you begin any new exercise program while you are pregnant, you should always consult your physician.  Stop any exercise if you notice dizziness, faint, shortness of breath, vaginal bleeding or pain.  Avoid any exercise that may injure your abdomen or ones involving increased jumping and bouncing or contact sports.  A few exercises I recommend which will benefit you during your pregnancy and afterwards include cardio, stretching, core and stability exercises. Of course, if you are already strengthening, swimming, involved in yoga or other pregnancy safe exercises, by all means continue.  Walking outside or on a treadmill or using an elliptical machine are good ways of getting some aerobic (cardio) exercise. 

A good exercise which involves both back and abdominal muscles is opposite arm and leg raises.   This exercise is done on all fours.  While maintaining a neutral spine (not arched, not flexed) and keeping the abdominals tightened, raise one arm straight out in front to shoulder level, palm facing inward and the opposite leg to buttock level at the same time.  Repeat the exercise with the opposite arm and leg for 10 repetitions per arm/leg combination.  If this exercise seems too difficult, begin with arm or leg raises alone. 

Maintaining a strong pelvic floor is important during pregnancy and afterwards.  A healthy pelvic floor knows how to contract (as if stopping the urine flow) and how to relax.  Pelvic floor exercises, known as Kegels, are a good way to keep the pelvic muscles in shape.  Practice quick (1-2 second) contractions as well as longer held (5-10 seconds) contractions.  Start with 5 repetitions and work up to 10 repetitions.  Make sure to rest between contractions and make sure not to hold your breath as you are doing this (or any) exercise.  Do not perform repetitions of this exercise while urinating.  To keep the abdomen strong, you can perform abdominal contractions in any position (sitting, standing, all 4’s or on the back when it is still safe and comfortable).  As you exhale, bring your lower abdomen, belly button and below, towards the spine.  Imagine a string pulling your belly button towards your spine.  Make sure not to just “suck in.”  You should feel the muscles in the lower abdomen tightening, but do not over tighten.  Hold this contraction for 5-10 seconds and repeat up to 10 repetitions.  There should be no movement except the flattening of the abdominal muscles.  This exercise will focus on the Transverse Abdominus muscle, a muscle which wraps around from the front to the back and helps to flatten the stomach. 

A final important exercise which strengthens the legs and buttock is the squat.  This can be performed with or without the support of a wall or chair.  Stand with feet hip width apart (increase the width as the pregnancy progresses and balance is more of a challenge).  Keep your heels flat on the floor and toes slightly turned out as you bend your hips and knees lowering yourself downward.  Make sure you knees stay over the toes.  Perform 10-15 repetitions. 

Stretching is as important as strengthening.  Stretching can help ease some aches occurring during and after pregnancy.  A second type of squat, full squat, will help you stretch and strengthen your hips in preparation for birth.  Start in the same position as the above squat.  This time lower yourself down as far as you can go while keeping your feet flat on the floor.  Hold the position from 30 seconds up to a few minute.  Angry cat is a stretch performed while on all fours.  In this neutral spine position, place you hands under the shoulders and knees below the hips.  As you exhale, tighten the abdominals (similar to abdominal contractions described above) as your round the back.  Inhale and return to neutral position.  Repeat 5 times. 

Finally, I always add breathing, especially diaphragmatic breathing to the program.  Inhale air through the nose, and down low into the abdomen. Let the abdomen expand as you breathe in, and relax as you breathe out through your mouth. By practicing breathing techniques during pregnancy, you can be more prepared for breathing while birthing.     

Do not forget to rest and get good nights of sleep.  Stay active while pregnant as long as you are comfortable, but also make sure not to overdo it.  By balancing your diet, activity and sleep, you are bound to feel good during and after the pregnancy. 

Niva Herzig is a licensed physical therapist specializing in women’s health.  She is the owner of Core Dynamics Physical Therapy in Englewood, NJ.  She can be contacted by email: niva@coredynamicspt.com.  For more information regarding prenatal and postpartum physical therapy as well as pelvic floor dysfunction, please visit www.coredynamicspt.com. 

Select a Pediatrician
Choosing the right pediatrician is one of the most important decisions you make prior to your baby’s birth. Getting personal referrals from friends and family is one of the best ways to narrow down your options before you start searching for further information. Consider both the logistical and philosophical aspects of the practice and pediatrician. Make sure all of the doctors you’re considering are taking on new patients and will accept your health insurance. Take time to speak or meet with prospective doctors.

Most offices will accommodate your request for an interview with the doctor.
A good time to start looking for a Pediatrician is seven to eight months
into your pregnancy. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) offers referrals to certified practitioners at www.aap.org/referral.
Get a Car Seat Inspection
Keeping your baby safe is one of the most important jobs you will
have as a parent, which is why using the proper car seat and installing it correctly are essential. The type of car seat you should use depends on several factors including the baby’s size and the type of car you drive. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that all infants should ride rear-facing until they reach the maximum height or weight allowed by the manufacturer. To learn more about car safety seats, go to www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm.
Be sure to have your car seat installed and inspected a few weeks before your due date. To find an inspection location near you, visit www.seatcheck.org.

Take a CPR Class
Learning how to correctly administer CPR to an infant before your baby’s birth can be a valuable life-saving technique. Performing CPR on an infant is very different from an adult and requires different levels of pressure. Classes are offered at hospitals, community centers and local chapters of the American Red Cross and American Heart Association. To find a class in your area, visit www.redcross.org or www.americanheart.org.
Consider Cord Blood Banking
Cord blood banking is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to collect and store your baby’s umbilical cord blood. Cord blood is a rich, non-controversial source of stem cells that is being used to treat over 70 life-threatening diseases. Many families bank their baby’s cord blood for peace of mind that their family’s stem cells are readily available should they need them. Others save cord blood because of its emerging use in treating Type 1 Diabetes and Cerebral Palsy, which requires a child’s own cord blood. Stem cells from a related source are the preferred option for all treatment, and transplants using cord blood from a family member are twice as successful as transplants using cord blood from a non-relative (i.e., a public source).1
Start researching cord blood banking during your second trimester and arrange the collection in advance – the only time collection can occur is at the time of delivery. Learn more about cord blood banking at www.parentsguidecordblood.org.

Make a Breastfeeding Decision
As a mother, one of the best things that only you can do for your baby is to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is more than a lifestyle choice — it is an important health choice. Any amount of time that you can do it will help both you and your baby. Breast milk has disease-fighting cells called antibodies that help protect infants from germs, illness, and even SIDS. Research also indicates that women who breastfeed may have lower rates of certain breast and ovarian cancers. Breast-feeding resources are available at www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding and www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding.
Taking a breastfeeding class before your baby arrives is a wonderful way to be prepared. To find a class, check with your OBGYN or visit La Leche League’s website at www.llli.org.
1 Gluckman, et al. New England Journal of Medicine, 1997; 337:373.

Most expectant parents & grandparents are not aware that they can save their baby’s cord blood, and these precious life saving cells are simply thrown away at birth.

Make sure you take the time to educate yourself because birth is the only opportunity you have to collect these lifesaving cells.
You can click here www.brainshark.com/viacord/kerielkin to watch a cord blood presentation.

You have 3 choices for what to do with the umbilical cord cells…to
discard, to donate, or to bank it.  If you ever need the stem cells & you donated or discarded it, it will cost you $30,000 to get one (if you can even get one).

It’s sad with science progressing everyday that someone would choose not to do this for their family/baby/siblings.  Cord blood stem cells are currently being used to treat over 70+ different diseases (ie. cancers like Leukemia, blood disorders, genetic diseases and immune system deficiencies, including diabetes, heart disease and stroke).