November 8, 2011
Young Little Screamers!
Screamers
To live with a screamer is an experience unto itself. At times, I wonder who this creature is screaming in my house, such a far cry from her kind, loving way of being. To listen can be the most difficult thing to bear which warrants removal of me or her from the room. I give myself timeouts so that I can sit in quiet for a moment and gather my thoughts before making my next strategic move to calm the little monster down (I say that in a loving way). Her recent reason for screaming was she was quite tired which facilitated an ordered bath; it did the trick for her. Sometimes, a conversation works, but one thing remains the same. I do not allow the drama to continue, otherwise she is reinforced and it just gets worse. So all I can say is if you have a screamer, you are not alone. And for those who don’t, count your blessings.
For those children who have been screamers since birth and recently are at a peak, I feel your pain. No they do not scream all of the time, but even a couple times a week makes life a little more difficult. When they were younger, it would help to say, “Use Your Words,” and now, they Scream their words… It has been a habit that is hard to change and walks along side the whining.
I recently purchased a sign for my house that says “No Whining Allowed …… Ever”. I was hoping it would assist me in laying down the law. This was my experiment to see if I could tone down the whining and screaming. So far, I have received several responses on the chalk board next to it, saying, Boo Hoo, No Way, Not Fair, but I continue to point to the sign when I hear the Whining, which often can turn into screaming when I say No! It is too soon to see if there is a difference yet.
There are so many reasons behind screaming, guilt, fatigue, boredom, and often for no good reason, but then sometimes, they scream because they need to sort something important out and do not understand how to communicate it. This is what makes it hard for us parents to discriminate. I believe the answer is in discussing with your child after he/she has calmed down. Very often they are very straight forward and will say to you, “I don’t want to go to school because…” Please take them at their word and support them in facing the issue and finding a healthy solution. Obviously, there is something there that he/she is struggling with that you can support he/she on. Oh Yeah, and for those of you who hear the screaming coming from my house, you should know I hear your children screaming too!
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